• Make sure your clothing is free of odor and stains. Don't hide stains under sweaters or jackets. Be especially wary of thrift-store finds.
• Get a professional tailor! Don't try to do it yourself, or give it to your mother, sister, wife, daughter, aunt, niece or grandmother to do.
• Choose socks in conservative colors, like black, not gold. Make sure the tops stay up. Use double-sided tape if need be—but shave your calves first!
• Unless someone who matters has made a specific request, avoid undergarments patterned with red-hot peppers. And opt for natural fibers (unless otherwise instructed).
• In most office settings, it is preferable for you to attire yourself in underwear and socks that are fresh, and conspicuously labeled with the name of an eminent fashion designer—and, bring along a second pair, if necessary.
• In some cases, your employer may ask to smell your undergarments. Think of it as a surprise inspection, like you’re in the Navy, wearing one of those cute little suits.
• Be well-heeled, because the shoes make the man! Try to have two pairs of shoes that have heels in good condition. If the heels are worn down, you will walk with an unscrupulous shuffle! Get your shoes polished every week. If your shoes look ragged, replace them immediately. If you're short on cash, use your credit card, or, if you don't have a credit card, you can always beg, borrow or steal (from someone outside your place of employment).